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I Hated, Hated, Hated This Movie, by Roger Ebert
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Roger Ebert awards at least two out of four stars to most of the more than 150 movies he reviews each year. But when the noted film critic does pan a movie, the result is a humorous, scathing critique far more entertaining than the movie itself.
I Hated, Hated, Hated This Movie is a collection of more than 200 of Ebert's most biting and entertaining reviews of films receiving a mere star or less from the only film critic to win the Pulitzer Prize. Ebert has no patience for these atrocious movies and minces no words in skewering the offenders.
Witness: Armageddon * (1998) --The movie is an assault on the eyes, the ears, the brain, common sense, and the human desire to be entertained. No matter what they're charging to get in, it's worth more to get out.
The Beverly Hillbillies* (1993)--Imagine the dumbest half-hour sitcom you've ever seen, spin it out to ninety-three minutes by making it even more thin and shallow, and you have this movie. It's appalling.
North no stars (1994)--I hated this movie. Hated hated hated hated hated this movie. Hated it. Hated every simpering stupid vacant audience-insulting moment of it. Hated the sensibility that thought anyone would like it. Hated the implied insult to the audience by its belief that anyone would be entertained by it.
Police Academy no stars (1984)--It's so bad, maybe you should pool your money and draw straws and send one of the guys off to rent it so that in the future, whenever you think you're sitting through a bad comedy, he could shake his head, chuckle tolerantly, and explain that you don't know what bad is.
Dear God * (1996)--Dear God is the kind of movie where you walk out repeating the title, but not with a smile.
The movies reviewed within I Hated, Hated, Hated This Movie are motion pictures you'll want to distance yourself from, but Roger Ebert's creative and comical musings on those films make for a book no movie fan should miss.
- Sales Rank: #237945 in eBooks
- Published on: 2013-07-30
- Released on: 2013-07-30
- Format: Kindle eBook
Most helpful customer reviews
172 of 175 people found the following review helpful.
Some great reviews - and some decent ones
By Ivy
I Hated, Hated, Hated This Movie is a great title, but it doesn't really sum up this book. It's a collection of reviews of movies rated between zero and two stars - and if you know Roger Ebert's ratings system, you'll know that two stars isn't by any means a total pan. And that's where the book gets weak.
The zero to one star reviews are truly funny; it's quite amusing to read the distillation of bitterness and hatred that comes from forcing a movie lover to sit through a terrible movie. On another level, it's also quite amusing to try to imagine how these movies ever got made in the first place - some of them leave you wondering how it is that the producers did not notice they didn't have a script until after shooting started. Others leave you wondering why the actors and director didn't take the easy way out and simply kill themselves rather than complete the movie.
Unfortunately, the book is padded with reviews of some movies that it appears Ebert only disliked. And mild dislike doesn't give rise to the same kind of humor as loathing does. Had these reviews been cut, the book would probably have been 50 pages shorter, and it would have been a riot from beginning to end, albeit one that left you with a serious disinclination to go to the movies. (Or, depending on the kind of person you are, with a strong *inclination* to head for the video rental store.)
If the editor, author, or publisher truly felt the need to extend the book beyond the despised movies, it would have been much more gripping and entertaining to include a few four-star reviews - maybe one per chapter? - to show what the other end of the spectrum looked like. That would also have staved off the erroneous impression this book can leave - that either Ebert hates everything or every movie is terrible.
My advice: read it, but not too quickly. There's a limit to how much badness the human constitution can stand. Remember, Ebert didn't see all these movies at one sitting, either.
38 of 40 people found the following review helpful.
Fantastic collection of Ebert's harshest reviews.....
By Brooke276
It could be argued that Ebert is truly at his best when he is savagely attacking the worst films ever made. While his criticism is always sharp and insightful, his negative reviews are much more entertaining, employing sarcasm, bitterness, and outright hatred for the drivel he must endure. The book provides a diverse selection, ranging from the early 1970s to more recent disasters. Although he attacks small, obscure works, he is much more satisfied attacking the giants; the "sacred cows" of cinema that, by virtue of their budgets, are believed to be above criticism. Ebert is dedicated to his craft and would probably prefer to spend his time in the company of classics, but few individuals display such giddiness when given the "privilege" of witnessing true cinematic chaos. His humor is to our benefit.
51 of 57 people found the following review helpful.
I Loved, Loved, Loved This Book
By Robert I. Hedges
This is Roger Ebert's greatest book. Everything about it is absolutely splendid, from the cover photograph, to the last word of the index. I have always been a fan of bad movies, and I enjoy seeing what doesn't work cinematically as much as what does. This is a collection of Ebert's best reviews on the subject of what decidedly does not work.
Ebert is always a quick wit, and though I don't always agree with him, I always find his writing insightful to illuminating his point of view. In this book, though, I believe that I am in complete agreement on all the movies that I have seen. Indeed, some of these reviews are so well written and intriguing, I had to see the film in question just to know if it could be that bad. For instance after reading about the silly character names, the telepathic parrots and the man eating vegetables, I just HAD to see "At The Earth's Core". It is unquestionably as wretched as Ebert says, and I delighted in its badness. I have now set my sights on "North", but that is allegedly much harder to watch.
If you want an accounting of mostly big budget cinematic fiascoes, this is the book for you. I hope Ebert writes another book soon called 'More Movies I Hated, Hated, Hated.'
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